Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Big Pause Button of Life

Apparently the Universe decided that it was time to hit my Pause button. I'm a busy mom, I rarely take time to take care of myself, I take too much on at one time, I am usually running on caffeine and sugar...not this week.

I am down for the count. After 4 weeks of off and on back pain, I finally went to the doctor on Monday. I should have gone sooner, but usually my back hurts and 3 to 4 days later it's fine. Not this time. Something is definitely wrong. I can't sit up at all. That means I can't work at a desk or drive. All I can do is lay flat or stand.

Unfortunately, my family's life isn't on Pause, it seems like it's on Fast Forward. Son #1 has UIL Band Competition and Sight Reading tomorrow. Son #2 is currently in 2 plays AND tried out for the talent show. One or both of them need to be at school early or stay after school almost every day.

From time to time I complain about all the running around I have to do. It's exhausting sometimes. But, after 4 days of complete rest, I can honestly say, I'd rather be out and about picking up kids and running errands, than flat on my back doing nothing.

I hate asking for help. I'd much rather do something myself than ask someone else to do it. Well, I've also been enrolled into a crash course of Asking Friends and Family For Help 101. It's hard. I know people want to help, and they don't mind doing things for me, but I'm just not good at asking for it.

Also, I don't know how long this is going to last. The current medications don't seem to be working. What if I can't drive or work for an extended period of time? What then? So frustrating...

Ok...deep breath...I have a great doctor. He will figure this out. I have wonderful, generous friends and family that will step up and pick up or drop off kids for me. I have a loving, patient husband who has done everything he can to make this week easier for me. It will all work out and at the end of this, I will have learned some new skills and put my life and schedule in perspective.

I just have to let go of control and let others help. My job right now is figuring out how to get better and take care of myself. If anyone has any extra healing prayers or positive energy, please send some this way.


If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?  ~Milton Berle

1 comment:

Amy said...

Sending positive thoughts your way. Isn't this just me too? I just have such a hard time with the asking for help. But you are right, people want to be helpful when they can, so ask away!