Monday, August 6, 2012

Rolling with the Homies...

I'm sure all homes and families have their quirks. It always makes me feel better to hear/read about other people's "issues," kind of how after watching Hoarders, I always feel so much better about my house keeping skills.

So, as a public service to you all, here are a few of our "issues:"

1) Son #2: Mom, are we out of bread?
Me: Yes.
Son #2: Mom! Even criminals get bread everyday!
Me (thinking to myself): Problem solved, go live with them.
Me (out loud): Sorry. I think there are some pizza rolls left.

Update: I bought a loaf of bread, so Son #2 will not starve, or be forced to join a band of criminals to find nourishment.
                                                                        Son #2

2) Son #1 started summer band today. This rudely interrupted our waking up at 10:00am summer schedule, since he had to be at the band hall at 8:30. So around 7:30am he and I tried to load his sousaphone into my car. This thing is heavy, and when it's in the case, is about the size of a baby elephant. We got it in the car, but the back hatch barely closed, so I had fears of driving down the highway at 70 mph and launching a baby elephant sized torpedo at the car behind us.

When I went to pick him up at 4:00, he was whining and walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. The first few weeks of marching band are apparently hard on his shoulder. I only mention this because: Son #1 is over 6 feet tall, very solidly built (not fat at all, very muscular) and his section leader is a girl that is very thin and about a foot shorter than him. She looked like she was ready to do another 4 hours of band, no hunchback, no whining. Girls Rule!
                                                        Son #1

3) My husband and I have a standing bi weekly argument. He seems to wait until I am on the road going somewhere and then calls me and "reminds" me to buy lottery tickets. Ok, not a huge issue, but here's the problem. I think that buying more than one lottery ticket at a time for the same drawing is pessimistic, so I always buy one ticket per drawing. He insists on five tickets per drawing, and cannot be persuaded to change his ways. Grrrrr....

4) I had this idea the other day and I thought it would make a really good book. I told the boys about it and they ran with it and had some really great ideas, then...somehow Son #2 and I got in this heated debate on the merits of Language Arts class. Not sure how we got there, but he seems to think that after 8 years of Language Arts (he's going into 9th grade), and the fact that he reads A LOT, he knows all there is to know and could write the Great American Novel right now, if he wanted to. I said, "I think not," and he was highly offended. Oh, this child!! I love him dearly, and he is brilliant and creative, but he thinks he knows it all at 14 years old. There is a fine line between pumping up their confidence and self esteem and crushing their dreams with my disbelieving laughter at their misplaced superiority and arrogance.

Oh yeah, and for some reason my house smells like stinky feet and sweaty boys today. Is raising girls any easier?


Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years. - James Thurber

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

If you do what you love, you'll love what you do, right?

The title of this blog post sounds like lyrics to a 70s song.  

With summer upon us, I have a lot of free time on my hands. My job is kind of on hold, so I started thinking...what do I love doing? If I can figure that out, maybe I can find a way to use that to occupy my time.

What do I love to do? What is my hobby? If I have nothing to do, what do I choose to do? (I'm pretty sure eating sugar cookies and drinking Sonic slushes mixed with rum, isn't the answer)

Books.   I read.   A lot.

So, I decided to start another blog for book reviews. When I'm looking for a book, topic and theme mean a lot more to me than the author, so this blog is organized by genre, but searchable by any key word: theme, author, etc.

Jen's Books

If you like books, and you want to take a look, please come on over and visit. If you like books and you like to write reviews, PLEASE come on over and visit. Keep in mind, it's still a baby so there aren't many reviews...yet.

Read on,

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius

Monday, July 16, 2012

Sports Bras and Pity Parties

I have a love/hate relationship with sports bras.

Today I had a rip roaring pity party, with only one

Now I love sports bras because they are comfortable, keep everything in the right place, and function well for their intended use: support during exercise. Yeah, well here's the thing, I don't exercise. If you ever see me running, you better run too because there is a seriously scary mofo chasing after me. If you ever see me doing yoga or weight lifting there will be a copay for physical therapy involved because that's only going to happen because my doctor is making me. Still, I love sports bras.

Correction, I love my 10 year old, grey, seriously in need of mending sports bra. See, I only have one. I also only have one "fancy bra," too. I know, I need to turn in my girl card. By the way, I have less that 6 pairs of shoes, too (but I do have 4 pairs of cowboy boots). True story, when I went to get the steroid injection in my back and the nurse saw my holey, grey sports bra, she just looked and me and said, "Oh, honey. Really?" Sigh.

Anyways, that's why I love my sports's comfortable. Here is why I hate it. Have you ever tried to put a sports bra on after you get out of the shower, even Houdini couldn't have managed this feat. It's seriously a 2 person process, but it's too embarrassing to ask for anyone's help, so you have to do the after shower sports bra dance, dislocate at least one shoulder, and pull your bra into place and then pop your shoulder back into place like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Very challenging stuff.

On to my pity party...hang with me there is a connection.

I had a really bad morning. Nothing serious, just a lot of little stuff that piled up and finally overwhelmed that Chinese torture method, Death of a Thousand Cuts. Well, not quite that bad, but it forced me to take the ultimate girl therapy treatment: Crying in the shower. Not sure why, but crying in the shower is better than any therapist's couch. I guess as the hot water washes the dirt and tears away, it also takes most of the stress and anxiety with it. I was crying because my job is basically nonexistent and I can't find a different job with the flexible hours I need having 2 super busy kids, my computer was being difficult, chores were piling up, and on and get it, right? Stupid little stuff, that just piled up and bitch slapped me, thus the crying in the shower therapy.

After the shower, I felt a lot better and then I realized I had taken a really long shower, I was really hot and the bathroom was really steamy and staring at me from the counter top was my ancient grey sports bra. All I could do was laugh, between the sweat and the steam it was going to take a miracle and a crow bar to get that damn bra on, but I did it, yes I did. At that moment I realized that if I can get that sports bra on in that perfect storm of sweat and steam, I can do anything. Moody problem. Job issues...I'll figure it out, eventually.

So there you go. You never know what is going to put your life back into perspective, sports bras...showers...laptops...whatever. Look for the small things to laugh about, they make the big things more manageable.

Party on,

Men are governed by lines of intellect - women: by curves of emotion. - James Joyce

Monday, July 2, 2012

Strings Attached

We have all heard the saying “no strings attached.” When you hear that, what do you think of? Is “no strings attached” a good thing or bad thing? It really depends on the situation. When it comes to buying some thing or signing a contract we WANT no strings attached, but when you really stop and think about it, we have strings attached to everything.

We have strings attaching us to our family. We have strings attaching us to our jobs. Just about everything in our lives has these strings attached, sometimes they lift us up and sometimes they pull us down. Imagine your life with no strings, alone and adrift in the Universe with no tether. No bad “strings attached” but no good “strings attached” either. Not good.

Now close your eyes and imagine all the strings that are attached to your life. Picture the good things attached with beautiful gold strings. Picture the bad things attached with the thinnest wisp of thread. When you want to rid your life of something negative, first picture that thin thread snapping and the thing slowly drifting out of your life. It might seem silly at first, but visualization has its place and can be a powerful tool.

The reverse also works, too. Sometimes I feel my teenagers pulling farther and farther away from me. I know they need their space, but it's really hard to let them go and live their own lives. In my mind, I picture them attached to me with that beautiful gold string. I imagine that string as unbreakable and then I start making it longer and longer in my mind. This shows me that my kids might be pulling away but they will still be attached by that unbreakable bond.

Decide what you need and want in your life and what you don't, then get out your golden lasso or scissors as needed. Don't forget some silly string in your life occasionally, too!

Speaking of string...don't forget to floss,

The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Moments of Greatness

Having kids isn't easy. As babies, we labor with them. As toddlers, we chase after them. As little kids, we worry as we send them off to school and watch them grow. As preteens, we chauffeur them around and put up with less than stellar attitudes. As teenagers, we fear for them and watch them struggle to find out who they are and what they want from life.

But, amid all of this there are moments of greatness. Moments so sweet, it makes you weep with love, pride, or joy. When they are babies, sometimes it is just that wonderful baby smell or the pure innocence and promise of a life just beginning. As little kids, it can be watching them play with pure joy or the way they hug you so tight and never want to let go. As preteens, it's that quick hug they give you when no one is watching, or the wonder in their eyes as they discover talents they didn't know they had.  As teenagers, it can be the pride of watching them excel at something they worked very hard for, or the bittersweet feeling of knowing they can take care of themselves now.

I didn't really put much thought into karma or yin and yang before I had kids. Now, I see it everyday. I feel the joy and pain they bring. I see the light and dark in them. I hear the kindness and bitterness in their words.

All this light and dark, love and pain, pride and disappointment can make being a mom seem like a constant roller coaster ride. These kids keep us on our toes. You never know what they will bring home with them when they walk in the door after school: homework, detention slips, school projects, hugs, smiles, tears, dirty gym clothes, trombones, girlfriends/boyfriends.

But guess what? I love roller coasters! Bring it on, kiddos. Give me your best and I will cheer for you, give me your worst and I will cry with you and help you in any way I can.

I Love You,
Mom (Jen)

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.  ~Robert Brault

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Bear Security Test

Tonight we tested the alarm system at our house. System is functioning perfectly, test was successful. Here is what our alarm system looks like:

This is what we used to test the alarm system: very odd son #2.

Spike went crazy when he saw a tall polar bear in our house. Good Dog! Now I can sleep soundly knowing that we are safe from tall polar bears.

My children have decided that it is their mission in life to get animal masks and dress up in costumes. This is the first endeavor: Formal Polar Bear.

I mean, really, what do you say about this? Son #2 informed me that he was buying the mask today with his own money. OK. Son #1 says he wants a unicorn mask, but he's not sure what he would wear with it. Huh? Sort of like what shoes go best with my unicorn mask? Sigh.

I'm not sure how these kids got so strange. I do have to thank them though, after six weeks of being stuck at home, this is the best entertainment I've had in awhile.

Formally yours,

What is a home without children?  Quiet.  ~Henny Youngman

Monday, April 30, 2012

Let's Make It a True Daily Double

Sorry, I've been away. Not away physically, but mentally. This blog was intended to be a place for positive thoughts, and I'm nowhere near positive right now. In fact, I need a passport to even get back from where I've been, I'm so far away from positive.

But you know what? That's OK. Life is not always positive. Life is hard, anyone that tells you differently isn't doing it right. The fact that life is hard is what makes it so rewarding when you get it right.

Quick update on me: I injured my back a few weeks ago. The pain got worse and worse, until it was almost intolerable and causing my blood pressure to rise. Tried oral steroids, didn't work. Finally an MRI showed a herniated disc with disc material floating in the vertebral sac. This caused inflammation and the resulting pressure caused severe sciatica. This is pain that radiates down the back of the hip and thigh. In my case, sitting triggers the pain. Do you know how often you sit? Driving, working at a computer, eating at the table...a lot of things involve sitting, and I can't do any of them. Driving is the worst. I have two busy teenagers and I can't pick them up or drop them off. I've really had to rely on my family to help me. They have been wonderful and I am so thankful to them.

Oh yeah, and two days after the intense sciatica started, I got bit by a spider and had a major reaction. At one point the inflamed bite area was about 8 inches across and hurt as bad if not worse than the sciatica. So, yeah, staying positive has been a struggle. My husband will tell you that cranky is sometimes a polite way to put my mood.

But, thankfully, the spider bite is completely healed and after a round of epidural steroid injections my sciatica seems to be improving. I can sit in a chair for five minutes instead of two minutes before the burning, ripping, tearing pain starts. Baby steps, but positive steps none the least.

What I have had is a lot of time to think. I have come to the following conclusions:

  1. I am extremely lucky. I have a support system around me that can step in when I am incapacitated.
  2. Being sick or injured is very lonely, even when you are surrounded by people.
  3. Get Well cards or simply a phone call or text, mean a lot. Take the time to contact someone that is sick or injured. It may seem like a small thing to you, but it means the world to them.
  4. I am a game show addict. GSN (game show network) is like crack, and my day revolves around making sure I catch Jeopardy at 4:00.

That is about it. Not feeling very creative or pithy today, but I did want to check in just to let y'all know I am still here. Hang in there, and if you get a spare minute, send a little healing energy my way. I really appreciate it.

Pass the pain pills,

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot.  ~Dutch Proverb, sometimes attributed to William C. Hazlitt

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Play Ball!

I was fixing to watch a baseball game downstairs, and this conversation took place:

Son#1: How are you feeling Mom?
Me: I'm good.
Son#1: Are you going to watch baseball down here?
Me: That was my plan.
Son#1: Looks like your back still hurts, Mom. Why don't you go upstairs and lay down. You can watch the game upstairs.

Oh, such concern and care for their mother...NOT! They just wanted the TV so they could watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, maybe a Myth Busters thrown in.

So, I've been sent to my room by my children.

Works for me,

There are three things in my life which I really love:  God, my family, and baseball.  The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.  ~Al Gallagher, 1971

The Big Pause Button of Life

Apparently the Universe decided that it was time to hit my Pause button. I'm a busy mom, I rarely take time to take care of myself, I take too much on at one time, I am usually running on caffeine and sugar...not this week.

I am down for the count. After 4 weeks of off and on back pain, I finally went to the doctor on Monday. I should have gone sooner, but usually my back hurts and 3 to 4 days later it's fine. Not this time. Something is definitely wrong. I can't sit up at all. That means I can't work at a desk or drive. All I can do is lay flat or stand.

Unfortunately, my family's life isn't on Pause, it seems like it's on Fast Forward. Son #1 has UIL Band Competition and Sight Reading tomorrow. Son #2 is currently in 2 plays AND tried out for the talent show. One or both of them need to be at school early or stay after school almost every day.

From time to time I complain about all the running around I have to do. It's exhausting sometimes. But, after 4 days of complete rest, I can honestly say, I'd rather be out and about picking up kids and running errands, than flat on my back doing nothing.

I hate asking for help. I'd much rather do something myself than ask someone else to do it. Well, I've also been enrolled into a crash course of Asking Friends and Family For Help 101. It's hard. I know people want to help, and they don't mind doing things for me, but I'm just not good at asking for it.

Also, I don't know how long this is going to last. The current medications don't seem to be working. What if I can't drive or work for an extended period of time? What then? So frustrating...

Ok...deep breath...I have a great doctor. He will figure this out. I have wonderful, generous friends and family that will step up and pick up or drop off kids for me. I have a loving, patient husband who has done everything he can to make this week easier for me. It will all work out and at the end of this, I will have learned some new skills and put my life and schedule in perspective.

I just have to let go of control and let others help. My job right now is figuring out how to get better and take care of myself. If anyone has any extra healing prayers or positive energy, please send some this way.


If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?  ~Milton Berle

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Go Get 'Em Kiddo! Part 1

Just yesterday, I swear son #2 looked like this. My sweet, creative, moody wild child. This morning, he looked like this:

Today he is headed to UIL Choir Contest and Sight Reading. Good Luck, sweet boy!

I took this picture this morning because he seems to grow and change overnight. I don't think I'm imagining it either, because this weekend he outgrew ALL of his  jeans and I had to break into the hand me down stash from son #1 so he would have something to wear.

As I drove him to school this morning, I felt bitter sweet. I'm so proud of the young man he is becoming, but I miss the little boy he was. About half way to school, fighting back the tears, I looked over at him and he was curled up in the front seat (all 6 feet of him) sleeping, getting all wrinkled, but who cares. It's moments like that when the little boy shines through. Those moments are getting very rare, so I treasure them and pack them away in my heart to hold onto.

I may not have won the Mega Millions lottery this week, but I absolutely won the Universal lottery 14 years ago when I was given this beautiful soul to care for. I am the luckiest woman ever and I am truly grateful for everyday I have with him.

Sing pretty, sweet boy!

Son, you outgrew my lap, but never my heart.  ~Author Unknown

Monday, April 2, 2012

Happiness Seed Packet

Lately it has been tough to stay positive. Over the last 3 weeks I have noticed that my thoughts, words, and actions have slowly become more negative. I won't bore you will all the details, but it started with the whole house getting sick, then prolonged back pain, and culminated in the Great Air Conditioner Repair War.

Plus...we didn't win the 1/2 billion dollars in Mega Millions. Oh well.

This was really starting to concern me. I don't want to go all negative again, been there, done that, bought the T shirt. But today I read this, by Rhonda Byrnes:
Do not worry at all about negative thoughts, and do not try to control them. All you have to do is begin to think good thoughts each day. Plant as many good thoughts as you can in each day. As you begin to think good thoughts you will attract more and more good thoughts, and eventually the good thoughts will wipe out the negative thoughts altogether.
Ahhh...I can do that. After I read this, I started thinking of a "good thought seed packet." I picture my existing life being sprinkled with good thought seeds. They start on the surface and then slowly start to sink in. Soon the good thoughts will thrive and multiply.

Happiness Seed Packet

I already feel lighter and have a smile on my face.

Have a great day,

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.  - Audrey Hepburn

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

It's Just a Harmless Little Bunny, Isn't It?

Remember the scene from Monty Python's Holy Grail when the knights are trying to get in the cave and it's protected by the evil rabbit? They end up trying to kill it by throwing the Holy Hand Grenade at it. Absolutely one of my favorite scenes from that movie. Read on to understand why...

A few years ago my son wanted a bunny. I agreed thinking it would teach him responsibility and really, how much work can a little bunny be?

Yeah, news flash parents, don't buy an animal to teach a kid responsibility. It doesn't work. And rabbits...not a great pet. As Tim in the Holy Grail so aptly describes "That's no ordinary rabbit. That the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set your eyes on." So true.

Our "bunny" is now five years old and lives in our freaking living room! His name is Buster and he can read minds. I'm not kidding. He picks up on thoughts and emotions. When someone near him gives out a negative emotion, he thumps his back leg...hard...LOUDLY. Scares the pee out of you! He does this with us AND he does it with the TV. So everyone in the house can be feeling great, happy, lovely...then THUMP...there was a car crash on TV that upset Buster. Oh, and when I get upset and yell at the kids (yeah, it happens), Buster will start thumping, then I yell and him and I feel like an idiot yelling at the damn rabbit, which makes the kids laugh, and I get even madder...vicious cycle...evil rabbit!!

I have a friend that has girl bunnies and wants to mate them with Buster, and I said, "Hell, no!" I don't want any more evil mind reading bunnies on this planet, it's just creepy!

Hop on,

It's Wabbit season, and I'm hunting wabbits, so be vewy, vewy quiet! - Elmer Fudd

Battle Weary

I have been very busy the last two weeks fighting the epic, Air Conditioning Repair Battle. It involves the installing company that installed the inside unit in a way that it cannot be serviced without being disconnected and moved (huge labor cost). The local company that we had transferred our extended warranty to that is either incompetent or unethical and the new company that has so far saved the day and been the voice of honesty and information.

The installing company: never called back after repeated calls and messages...shocker. They will get a strongly worded letter to make it right and if that doesn't happen they will be seeing us in court.

The local company: never could find problem/leak but told us we were low on freon and we had a freon leak, so opted to change out the coils (because that's usually the problem...blah blah blah). Never bothered to run further tests to correctly diagnose problem, told us that we either needed to move inside unit ($1000 labor charge, not covered by warranty) or cut a 30in x 60in hole in our wall so they could access the coils.

New company: came out and checked out the whole system for a flat $69 service charge. Tested the freon pressure, said is was fine (NO LEAK!!) but after about 15 minutes of searching and testing confirmed that we had a bad compressor. He ordered the part and will be installing it on Friday and the WHOLE THING will be covered under our warranty.

I've been dealing with this for almost 2 weeks now and I'm so glad it's mostly resolved. I have learned a few things:

1) Kill them with kindness. I have been pleasant with every person I've talked to, even when I knew they were wrong and might be taking advantage of me. There is a time for being "not nice" but I find that people shut down and stop listening when that happens.

2) If you feel like something is wrong, it probably is. Trust your instincts.

3) Get a second opinion. If your looking at a big expensive repair and you're not knowledgeable about the subject, ask someone else to take a second look at it. For a small service charge, you'll have peace of mind. If the original company gets offended, red flag, they shouldn't mind if they have nothing to hide.

4). Reward skill and honesty with loyalty. If you find someone that is good at what they do and treats you honestly, stick with them. Also let them know how you feel verbally and follow up with a letter. Let them know that you will tell your friends about them and recommend their service whenever you can.

This is a new skill for me. In the past I usually asked others to help me with stuff like this, but I got all this done on my own. I'm very proud of the outcome and how I handled things. I'm going to take a few days to breathe and cool down (literally, we will have a/c on Friday!) and then I'll go to war with the installing company. Nice to know that it's not urgent and I can do things slowly and correctly.

Keep cool,

A business absolutely devoted to service will have only one worry about profits. They will be embarrassingly large. - Henry Ford

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Men vs Boys

The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys.  ~Author Unknown

I found this quote proved somewhat true today.

When my kids were little they wanted lots of little stuff. One year for Christmas, I bought them a complete set of Pokemon figures. There were hundreds of them and they were about an inch tall. They also loved legos, Pokemon cards, Hot Wheels, and so on. I spent a fortune on all this crap stuff. The stuff was cheap but there were so many versions of each toy and they “gotta catch 'em all.” It adds up.

Today on Facebook a friend of mine posted something about her son and mentioned something about Bey Blades and Hex Bugs. I have no idea what these things are, never even heard of them. It got me thinking of the difference between little kids and teenagers.

When someone asks me what to give the boys now, I just say “Cash.” They don't want little, easy to buy things anymore. They still want stuff, only now it's big stuff, but the names are at least recognizable.

Guitar, Violin, Laptop, X Box, Car, Car, Car, Car, Car

Back to the quote, if I were to ever speak that quote it would be “tongue in cheek.” There are a lot of differences between men and boys. Thankfully, my boys are turning into wonderful men.


Boys are students: Men are teachers

Boys are consumers: Men are producers

Boys play with toys: Men work with tools

Boys break things: Men make things

Boys ask questions: Men give answers

Boys are disruptive: Men bring order

Boys run in gangs: Men organize teams

Boys play house: Men build homes

Boys shack up: Men get married

Boys make babies: Men raise children

A boy won’t raise his own children: A man will raise his and somebody else’s

Boys invent excuses for failure: Men produce strategies for success

Boys look for somebody to take care of them: Men look for somebody to take care of

Boys are present-centered; Men are time-balanced, having knowledge of the past and understanding of the present and a vision for the future

Boys seek popularity: Men demand respect

Boys are up on the latest: Men are down with the GREATEST

- Rev. Clarence L. James

A List: 5 Random Things

It seems like a lot has been happening lately, but most stuff isn't big enough, or truthfully, interesting enough for a blog post. Here are 5 random things that will probably not impact your life at all, but might make you smile, cringe, shriek, or laugh.

1. Yesterday, I told you about my unfortunate problems with our air conditioning unit. I was hoping that the a/c fairy would magically solve them overnight, but nope she must be on vacation, still have issues. The interior unit is in a tiny attic and the way it was installed (5 years ago), there is no way to access the motor or coils without detaching and moving the whole unit.

Stay with me, I know this is less than exciting stuff. Here is the kicker, we either need to pay A LOT of money to have the unit moved, or cut a 3 ft x 5 ft whole in the wall in a very visible area. If we do this, they can access the unit, the parts and labor will be entirely covered by the warranty, and the a/c will work properly again (which will be very important in a few weeks).

“Honey, please get the saw out and cut a huge whole in the wall.” “Yes, dear”

2. Son #1 had a good time in Branson last week, but he was “that kid” on the trip. He threw up in the hotel room the first morning at 5:30 am and had to wake up the band directors. He hurt his back on the go carts and needed several doses of Tylenol, he had a nose bleed (several, actually) on the Grand Stairway in the Titanic Museum...sorry chaperons, at least he was well behaved.

3. Which leads to... Son #1 got in a bit of trouble last night. He lent his phone to a kid on the school bus and forgot to get it back. I found this out because this kid used the phone to text Son #1's contacts and had odd conversations with them. I got several texts asking when Son #1 had gotten hurt, did he hit his head, and why is he acting so weird. After several rounds of questioning, he finally confessed and told me what happened. When I asked who had it, I find out it's the same kid that took his phone last year and downloaded over $200 worth of apps and games. Oh, I was not happy.

I ranted and raved at him and he just sat there and then calmly said, “Mom, I'm 15. I get good grades, I don't drink or do drugs, I've never gotten in trouble at school. Really, Mom, let's put this in perspective, I lent my phone to, admittedly the wrong person, and forgot to get it back. If that is the worst problem you have with me, I think you're pretty lucky.”

Well, yes, son you're right, I am VERY lucky. Never mind.

4. This morning my mother texted me all in a panic. Apparently, Son #2 had called her on his cell phone twice this morning and no one was on the line. She was ready to start calling the school and send out a search party for him (He's 14, but to her they will always be her babies). When I told her he was right next to me and had accidentally “butt dialed” her, I had to explain what butt dialing was. After she stopped laughing, she said, “I keep my phone in my bra, does that mean that I've been boob dialing people?”

Yes, Mom, it does.

5. Our dog Spike does not like men. He's ok with them when he is out and about, but he will not let adult men in our house without growling, slobbering, and snarling. He's a lot like me in that respect. Just kidding. Sorta. Anyways, when the repairmen came the other day, they were going to be inside and outside so the only place we could put him is our upstairs master bathroom. When I tell you this next part you may have more insight into why I'm sometimes cranky and insane. Our upstairs MASTER bathroom is so tiny that our dog (admittedly he is rather large) had to stand in the bath tub. This bathroom contains a full size tub/shower and a toilet and the floor space left over is, and I'm not exaggerating, 2 ft x 2 ft.

Feel my pain, at least I always get the bathroom to myself, only one person fits in there.

So there are some glimpses into my last few days. I told you it wasn't terribly exciting, but thanks for hanging in there with me.


For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

**Uh oh**