Monday, July 16, 2012

Sports Bras and Pity Parties

I have a love/hate relationship with sports bras.

Today I had a rip roaring pity party, with only one

Now I love sports bras because they are comfortable, keep everything in the right place, and function well for their intended use: support during exercise. Yeah, well here's the thing, I don't exercise. If you ever see me running, you better run too because there is a seriously scary mofo chasing after me. If you ever see me doing yoga or weight lifting there will be a copay for physical therapy involved because that's only going to happen because my doctor is making me. Still, I love sports bras.

Correction, I love my 10 year old, grey, seriously in need of mending sports bra. See, I only have one. I also only have one "fancy bra," too. I know, I need to turn in my girl card. By the way, I have less that 6 pairs of shoes, too (but I do have 4 pairs of cowboy boots). True story, when I went to get the steroid injection in my back and the nurse saw my holey, grey sports bra, she just looked and me and said, "Oh, honey. Really?" Sigh.

Anyways, that's why I love my sports's comfortable. Here is why I hate it. Have you ever tried to put a sports bra on after you get out of the shower, even Houdini couldn't have managed this feat. It's seriously a 2 person process, but it's too embarrassing to ask for anyone's help, so you have to do the after shower sports bra dance, dislocate at least one shoulder, and pull your bra into place and then pop your shoulder back into place like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Very challenging stuff.

On to my pity party...hang with me there is a connection.

I had a really bad morning. Nothing serious, just a lot of little stuff that piled up and finally overwhelmed that Chinese torture method, Death of a Thousand Cuts. Well, not quite that bad, but it forced me to take the ultimate girl therapy treatment: Crying in the shower. Not sure why, but crying in the shower is better than any therapist's couch. I guess as the hot water washes the dirt and tears away, it also takes most of the stress and anxiety with it. I was crying because my job is basically nonexistent and I can't find a different job with the flexible hours I need having 2 super busy kids, my computer was being difficult, chores were piling up, and on and get it, right? Stupid little stuff, that just piled up and bitch slapped me, thus the crying in the shower therapy.

After the shower, I felt a lot better and then I realized I had taken a really long shower, I was really hot and the bathroom was really steamy and staring at me from the counter top was my ancient grey sports bra. All I could do was laugh, between the sweat and the steam it was going to take a miracle and a crow bar to get that damn bra on, but I did it, yes I did. At that moment I realized that if I can get that sports bra on in that perfect storm of sweat and steam, I can do anything. Moody problem. Job issues...I'll figure it out, eventually.

So there you go. You never know what is going to put your life back into perspective, sports bras...showers...laptops...whatever. Look for the small things to laugh about, they make the big things more manageable.

Party on,

Men are governed by lines of intellect - women: by curves of emotion. - James Joyce

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