Bring it on!

Amazing...I am truly blessed.

Yesterday...well, to be quite honest, yesterday sucked. The air conditioner broke, it was installed incorrectly 5 years ago, the repair company couldn't find warranty paperwork...blah...blah...blah, on and on, things just kept going wrong.

All that bad energy spilled into today and I just felt awful when I woke up. I felt so full of “bad stuff” that I didn't know how to even begin turning it around so I could start to feel better. On top of all that, the person I really wanted to talk to isn't here anymore (well, at least not reachable by phone).

I did have a gentle nudge from her yesterday (for this blog's purpose, we will call her Ellie). The boys and I had just ordered our obligatory Tuesday mass quantities of food, and I commented on the logistics of getting all this food and our groceries in the house. Then I told them the story about how Ellie would never eat at Sonic because she thought they were listening to her through the speakers, after she ordered. I told her she was being ridiculous and paranoid, they didn't care what was going on in her car. But, by God, the minute I said that, the speaker turned on and the car hop laughingly asked if we wanted a drink holder to carry our sodas home it. Ok, fine Ellie, you were right, I was wrong.

Back to my original point...I woke up in foul mood, without Ellie to call and vent to, and I didn't know how to fix it. Finally, I decided to put myself in my friend's hands and posted this on Facebook:

ok Peeps, feel like I'm drowning in bad juju right now, please tell me something good, funny, or wonderful. I need happy!!

Well, my wonderful friends delivered. Within minutes, they sent funny stories, Bee sent two hilarious pictures, and best of all Ellie's mom called to check on me and make sure I was ok.

Thank you all! I am truly blessed to have all you there to pick me up and carry me around for awhile when I feel like I can't get through. So, bring it on, whatever life wants to challenge me with, that's fine. I've got an angel beside me and the best friends a girl can ask for behind me.

Crisis averted,

Jen

Angels descending, bring from above,
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
~Fanny J. Crosby

The Last First

I've been gone about 4 days...sorry, it's been a rough weekend. Now, I know I promised not to go all negative on y'all, and I'm really not. Life can't be all sunshine and roses. If you don't have dark times, you truly cannot appreciate the light times. This weekend was a time of mourning and reflection, but also celebration and fellowship. I spent Saturday with my dear departed friend's family to dedicate her headstone and lay her ashes in their final resting place. It was sad, yet beautiful.

Today is the one year anniversary of her death. I realized something today that brings a closure to this year, we are on our last "first." The first Christmas without her, the first birthday without her, and now the first year with out her. Starting tomorrow, we have all survived that particular day of the year without her. There is a certain comfort in that.

Last February 20th, none of us knew how we would go on. How could we get through our days without that beautiful woman in it? But we did. We all survived what was probably the hardest year of our lives, so far.

One year. So much has happened in a year. So many things she didn't get to do and see. So many things I didn't get to tell her and laugh or cry with her about. There is this new mascara out that she will be so pissed off that she missed (if you know her, you'll appreciate that, she LOVED mascara).

Don't take any day for granted. Don't waste anymore time on fear or doubt. Take control of your life and live with intention. Choose love. Choose joy. Share these with others so the energy is multiplied and more love and joy are drawn to you.

What did I do today? I took care of me. I went to the doctor for a checkup. I had lunch with my husband. I hugged and laughed with my boys when they got home. I shared dinner with my family. I told them I loved them, then I spent some quiet time and pictured my sweet friend in my mind. I told her all that she has missed and all that I have learned since she left us. I'm sure she is a busy girl, as there are probably a lot of people doing the same thing today.

You never know what tomorrow brings, but I promise you, you cannot regret any day that you spend in the state of love, joy and/or gratitude.

Carry on,
Jen

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend.  - Plautus