The Last First

I've been gone about 4 days...sorry, it's been a rough weekend. Now, I know I promised not to go all negative on y'all, and I'm really not. Life can't be all sunshine and roses. If you don't have dark times, you truly cannot appreciate the light times. This weekend was a time of mourning and reflection, but also celebration and fellowship. I spent Saturday with my dear departed friend's family to dedicate her headstone and lay her ashes in their final resting place. It was sad, yet beautiful.

Today is the one year anniversary of her death. I realized something today that brings a closure to this year, we are on our last "first." The first Christmas without her, the first birthday without her, and now the first year with out her. Starting tomorrow, we have all survived that particular day of the year without her. There is a certain comfort in that.

Last February 20th, none of us knew how we would go on. How could we get through our days without that beautiful woman in it? But we did. We all survived what was probably the hardest year of our lives, so far.

One year. So much has happened in a year. So many things she didn't get to do and see. So many things I didn't get to tell her and laugh or cry with her about. There is this new mascara out that she will be so pissed off that she missed (if you know her, you'll appreciate that, she LOVED mascara).

Don't take any day for granted. Don't waste anymore time on fear or doubt. Take control of your life and live with intention. Choose love. Choose joy. Share these with others so the energy is multiplied and more love and joy are drawn to you.

What did I do today? I took care of me. I went to the doctor for a checkup. I had lunch with my husband. I hugged and laughed with my boys when they got home. I shared dinner with my family. I told them I loved them, then I spent some quiet time and pictured my sweet friend in my mind. I told her all that she has missed and all that I have learned since she left us. I'm sure she is a busy girl, as there are probably a lot of people doing the same thing today.

You never know what tomorrow brings, but I promise you, you cannot regret any day that you spend in the state of love, joy and/or gratitude.

Carry on,
Jen

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend.  - Plautus